Taking Stock 2

Bit of a different tune on this one. Part 1 here.

Making: memories. 
Cooking: blueberry muffins and lemon curd. heaven.
Drinking: coffee. bucket loads.
Reading: not much. book recommendations requested.
Wanting: happiness.
Looking: at the weather report. I don't understand it.
Playing: with dirt.
Wasting: time. and talent. 
Sewing: bikinis. 
Wishing: for another escape. I can't get enough.
Enjoying: running. 
Waiting: for an endless summer
Liking: having new friends. and learning how to spend time with them.
Wondering: what's coming next. always.
Loving: the oncoming summer.
Hoping: for peace.
Marveling: at the vegetation. finally.
Needing: connection. 
Smelling: chamomile tea. stale chamomile tea. oops.
Wearing: athletic clothes constantly.
Following: everything related to travel.
Noticing: greater peace of mind about my body, eating habits. thank you, running.
Knowing: life goes on. we survive. somehow.
Thinking: too much. my mind is on overdrive and it's wearing me out.
Feeling: sticky. i love it.
Bookmarking: travel destinations.
Opening: cans of dolmas. 
Giggling: not very often.
Feeling: taxed.

manifest

if i can picture it can i create it

the world i envision
can i make it mine

the ability to imagine -
what role does it play
in the ability to do

the mind is a bigger expanse
of universe
than the universe actually is

i've created a world
inside
that cannot be created outside
i have neither time nor money nor ability

so i dwell
everyday
i dwell
in this world

the unrest within herself

un·rest

  [uhn-rest] 

noun

1.

lack of rest; a restless, troubled, or uneasy state; disquiet: the unrest within himself.

The unrest within herself

when she moves
it never feels big enough
though all she craves is to move

moving
a state of being in motion
and by being in motion
there is change
newness
discovery
growth
but hardly ever overturning

she wants to overturn life
to flip it on its back and
begin anew
she might finally feel

she might finally feel
the hope of a new day
the burning light inside her chest upon discovery
the expansion of her chest into new being

but today she only imagines
these things
lines them up in rows
poising her pen
ready to make the next check

Longing

I want to go. Anywhere. I need to be filled with new air, new sounds, new tastes, new colors, new textures. I read books and blogs, look for new jobs, look for people doing the things I want to be doing. I'm constantly someone somewhere else in my mind. 

Wall near Bab Mansour gate, Meknès, Morocco

Something's missing, and I don't know what it is... Or do I? I want a life I can't live. 

I just want to travel. I want a horse. I want time to slow down. I want to bake and cook and eat with pleasure. I want to feel God's presence again. I want stories people want to hear. I want to be taken seriously. I want to find the light through the trees. 

I want so many things, and at the same time, I want to cut away everything that is unnecessary. 

from pinterest. don't know the source. sorry!

 I just can't picture my life without constant travel. I got a taste of it - true, true travel - in Nicaragua and I must have it. It's part of the reason I started a bikini business. I'm trying so hard to craft the life I want to live. When can I live it?