TB Salute

Well. I have this problem. Two problems actually.

1. I have an addiction to horses. Unshakeable, ever-present, consuming. I cannot make it go away.

2. When I know what I like and see it, there's no going back. I have a connection to the thing and know it is mine before I even commit to it.

I don't really mind these two problems, and I have been SO fortunate in life to be able make room for some of the more expensive things that catch my eye, like my wedding dress.

And so it was that back in November/December-ish I saw a cute horse on SecondStride.org that gave me a certain feeling. I knew the feeling and tried to hush it. As it was, I wasn't going to start looking at horses until June (cue problem no. 1, I am always looking). So I avoided the website and focused on the business of the holidays, and then the funeral of my grandfather, and then a move... But in between the funeral and our move, I had a niggling, and I kept looking at pictures of the horse. And then I emailed about the horse. And talked to people about the horse. And felt compelled to look at the horse. And even though he had some issues, I still thought it would be a shame if I didn't meet the horse, because the feelings I had were real.

So I told my husband (bless his soul) that I thought we should go look at the horse, and he sighed and said ok. And we made a long drive to Kentucky before going to Gatlinburg with friends to look at him. He was as fuzzy as a teddy bear and put his head gently in my arm while I stroked his cheek and I was reminded of my dear pony, Encore, who also favored that particular form of snuggling. So I signed papers and called a vet for X-rays and a PPE and they said everything is great except for that one issue in the leg, but it will be fine. And I scheduled a shipper and the horse will be here in Durham sometime in the next week I hope.

Riding on 3/16/17

Two-year sale photo

Two-year old sale photo

Training breeze

Training breeze

Now, let me tell you about the horse.

• We are calling him Smoky because we were in the Smoky Mountains when we decided to go ahead with the adoption. He's black with a white diamond. As fuzzy as a bear. As sweet as can be.
• He retired from racing with a fractured hind sesamoid. They start Thoroughbreds as babies and injuries are SO common. And he was kind of slow. The sesamoid still shows a fracture on X-ray but he's sound. Unless you do a flexion test on him, or he runs around too much. It's probably been 6 months since he injured it. Vets suggest time off, light work, wrapping the leg. I'll be poulticing, cold hosing, and sweating it as well.
• He has a parrot mouth. Which is undetectable when he's just standing there eating and hanging out. You have to really lift his lips up to see it, but his incisors don't touch. So we'll need to do regular float sessions, 1-2 times a year probably. Otherwise he eats well and can graze and seems unfazed by a bit. Will need to have a dentist check them pretty soon though, no idea when his chompers were last assessed.
• He has great feet, shoes only on the front (yay money saver!).
• He's a little small, about 16.1, but will probably stretch up a bit and fill out a lot as he ages. He's only 4.
• There's a floaty, pretty trot hiding in there. Just need to have a healthy ankle, and build some muscles.
• He's wonderfully calm and sweet, almost pokey. Though I'm sure when he feels 100% he'll get some of that TB spark back.
• He seems smart. He's had few rides in the past 6 months, but when I rode him he seemed very receptive to steering and leg aids. 
• Joe said he even felt a special connection to him despite not being a horse person and being quite nervous about horse acquisition.
• The rest we'll just have to discover.

The photos that captured my special attention. 

I'll be using this space to keep a journal of our growth together, document Smoky's progress, share photos, tell stories, etc. I hope you'll join in reading along.

Optimism Month?

Yikes.

I'm a bit cynical for this. Maybe you think I am an optimist, which is ok, because most of the time I like to give the impression that I'm holding it together well. 

But that's my public self. My private self is a bit of a mess, and my husband would tell you that I complain a lot and am a pessimist. 

I actually think I'm somewhere in the middle, more of a pragmatist with an honest view of average human behavior and life's curveballs. But, yeah, on bad days, I sink into a nice little black hole and no amount of kind words, positive thoughts, tools, acts of kindness, or irritated chastising will haul me out. I simply need to be alone (like, really alone, animals ok) and do one of my preferred self-care activities - working out, walking the dog, crying in bed (depending on the severity of the day), reading, scrolling the internets, being near water and in sunshine.

I'm not ever going to be a real optimist, and I certainly won't get there simply by having more positive thoughts. But over at ManRepeller, they invited readers to share what they like about themselves in the spirit of Optimism Month, and I did and it actually felt really great.

Here's what I wrote.

"I like that I collect hobbies almost compulsively. I like that I am not afraid to try a new form of art when I feel like it. I like that I am independent. I like that I am more the quiet observer type than the loud notice me type. I like that I can cook and that I'm good at it. I like my weird button nose and my eyelashes and my teeth and my wrists. I like that I'm a better listener than talker. I like that I am sensitive to the things around me - people, animals, nature, sounds, smells - I feel very much a part of the world. I like being a contradiction and surprising people with things they don't know about me. I like where I've come from and my ancestry and how my life was growing up. I like that I like being alone most of the time. 

Sometimes it's hard to love ourselves, but it's important to give ourselves credit for the ways we succeed, and to be the supportive individual we need to be for ourselves and others around us."

What do you like about yourself?

A little bit of confusion

Sometimes horses decide not to listen. That's ok, they're probably bored. Or maybe they just think they know what you're about and they don't wanna.

What to do?

Confuse em.

Do something weird. Mix it up. Surprise them.

On Saturday, I decided I just really didn't want to lunge Opa. He probably didn't need an official lunge session, and also they are probably soooo boring anyway. So I decided to just push him around the paddock a bit before taking him in. This definitely confused him, he kept giving me the side eye. And I sort of wanted to see how willing he'd be to come back to me. I discovered we could improve our bond a bit more... At first he was like, "don't chase me, I'll come in" and stood there waiting for me put his halter on even while I clucked at him and swung the lead rope. But, after running around a bit and giving him some opportunities to come to me, he still didn't. So that might be something to try to work towards.

Anyway, then I groomed him, tacked up, and got on. And then I thought, what would happen if I just gave him his head while trotting? He's been a little reluctant to go forward and tossing his head a bit, and although I have very soft hands, maybe I'm relying too much on the contact, pitching forward and using it as a balance point. So, I nudged him into a big trot and kept my reins very long, only giving him a little guidance on where his nose was or slowing an outside shoulder here and there. And he was soooo confused. But we got some big giant trots and some pretty consistent cantering and it gave me some confidence in my seat. We also did some leg yielding exercises to improve his responsiveness. Then, we walked out of the arena and did two loops on the drive around the barn, which was like 10 minutes of walking. Since he was already listening to me thanks to the variety of things we had done, there was only one tiny spook near the hay trailers and we walked on a loose rein the whole time.

It was a good riding day.

So if you're feeling bored, or suspect your horse is getting bored, switch it up! Do something weird and surprise them, they'll usually respond by listening better :)