So for the past couple months, I've been half-heartedly searching for part-time jobs, while trying to figure out how best to go about working for myself and in what capacity. I've come to the conclusion that I'm maybe not mature enough, or passionate enough, to pursue self-employment of some kind at this time. While it's still a goal I have, my capacity to step outside my comfort zone or get motivated is nearly non-existent.
Now, in the past few weeks, I've really stepped up my job search, primarily for part time jobs because Joe and I share a car and we've got Cooper, who deserves some time outside his kennel during the day. It's also a priority for me to take care of most of the things at home - laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc., and I am not interested in doing more of what my past experience is in a full time job. No more marketing, please, I hate it.
What I've discovered the past couple weeks is this:
1. Job hunting sucks and is really demoralizing. I knew this, just reconfirmed it.
2. I'm not interested in the things I have experience doing, and no experience in the things I'm interested in doing. I'm at an impasse, I don't know how to get around it.
3. Pretty certain my schooling was a waste of my time and money.
4. I regret not standing up for myself as an 18-yr-old, holding firm to knowing what I didn't like (sitting in offices) and what I do like (art and flexibility).
5. With more than a year now unemployed, I feel guilty for putting this kind of stress on my husband, and hopeless that there's anything out there for me that will be a good fit for my interests and capabilities.
6. I have no passion, none. For anything. It died after my freshman year of college.
7. I cannot state goals without getting major anxiety. I have never set a goal in my life.
I thought college was going to be the key to making my life goals and dreams come true. Get good grades, go to a good college, do well in college, get a good job, make enough money to fund my interests... It doesn't work like that, at all.
I don't know what to do. I want to give up, cry, go back and start over, be a different person. Not sure there's anything out there for me.
Now, in the past few weeks, I've really stepped up my job search, primarily for part time jobs because Joe and I share a car and we've got Cooper, who deserves some time outside his kennel during the day. It's also a priority for me to take care of most of the things at home - laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc., and I am not interested in doing more of what my past experience is in a full time job. No more marketing, please, I hate it.
What I've discovered the past couple weeks is this:
1. Job hunting sucks and is really demoralizing. I knew this, just reconfirmed it.
2. I'm not interested in the things I have experience doing, and no experience in the things I'm interested in doing. I'm at an impasse, I don't know how to get around it.
3. Pretty certain my schooling was a waste of my time and money.
4. I regret not standing up for myself as an 18-yr-old, holding firm to knowing what I didn't like (sitting in offices) and what I do like (art and flexibility).
5. With more than a year now unemployed, I feel guilty for putting this kind of stress on my husband, and hopeless that there's anything out there for me that will be a good fit for my interests and capabilities.
6. I have no passion, none. For anything. It died after my freshman year of college.
7. I cannot state goals without getting major anxiety. I have never set a goal in my life.
I thought college was going to be the key to making my life goals and dreams come true. Get good grades, go to a good college, do well in college, get a good job, make enough money to fund my interests... It doesn't work like that, at all.
I don't know what to do. I want to give up, cry, go back and start over, be a different person. Not sure there's anything out there for me.
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