Riding

#Blessed

Jk, but really. I feel extremely fortunate to have found work and a horse to ride at a barn near us in Durham.

The horse I'm riding is named Opa. He's 15 years old, a blood red bay Thoroughbred, and just the sweetest little peach. I'm currently able to ride him Saturdays and Wednesdays thanks to my and the owner's present schedule, but I might be able to add in some evening rides, especially if the owner feels comfortable letting me ride Opa when he's not there.

Tomorrow will be my third ride on Opa, and I'm nervous (because it's been a while), and excited because he is such a fun guy to ride. He has a great big trot that practically launches me out of the saddle, so I really need to get my seat and legs working again. But his canter is a joy, a pleasure, a delight. It's like riding a rocking horse, so smooth and full. I could canter allllll day.

Now this is a new sort of thing for me. My pony had a very flat canter, it was hard to ride sometimes, especially when I was first learning. When I took dressage lessons post-college, I really struggled with Bo's canter. It was heavy and big, he liked to get on his forehand and pretend he couldn't be steered. I never really felt like I got it when I was riding him, just felt very off balance. But, Opa, wow, now that's something I'll definitely look for when I start looking for a horse of my own.

So our first ride was really great. I rode for a long time and tested out his buttons. He can do lateral movements, collect and extend, and passage. It was fun and I was sore for 4 days. Our second ride was a bit more challenging. I couldn't quite get my body to cooperate and Opa was evading the bit and not answering my cues. More forward. I keep telling myself that and was trying to do it, but just really struggling to get my body to cooperate. When we were cantering, I must have gotten my hips a little funny and my legs in the wrong spot because he gave me a couple flying lead changes! So, he can do tempis if I ever want to try that...

I really think he's going to be a great horse to re-learn my skills on. I feel safe riding him, confident in his responsiveness. He's going to prepare me very well, I think, to feel confident getting on the back of an OTTB I don't know well and then bringing one home to teach.

I'll try to get back here after each ride, and if my husband gets a break from schoolwork, drag him out to get a few pics. 

What's the difference?

Why are we so sad when a woman has a miscarriage? 4 weeks. 8 weeks. 12 weeks. 18 weeks. No matter the time, the unborn baby has died. It's heartbeat stopped. It's life, present and forthcoming, ended. And that is very sad.

Yet, people are out here screaming for abortions well past the medical "viability" point (24-ish weeks) where the babe can survive outside the uterus.

And what happens in an abortion that's so different from a miscarriage that makes it ok? That someone chose to end the life of the unborn baby? That they pulled the baby apart piece by piece? That this unborn baby wasn't wanted?

Let's be real and honest here - a heart stops beating when a baby is aborted and if that's not ending a life, then I don't know what is.

What a cruel world we live in. 

A Woven Table Runner

Last fall I decided to make my mom something really special for Christmas. She and my dad had just purchased a beautiful new oak Amish dining table, and she casually mentioned to me that she wanted a table runner for it.

I began looking around at table runners for sale and they were just sort of boring/dated/expensive/not the right style. What I wanted to get her didn't exist and I couldn't afford it if it did. I was looking for a beautifully woven table runner in neutral but kind of sandy/desert colors.

Then my little hare-brain thought "You can totally make this."

I replied, "Are you sure? Wait, yeah, totally. I made weavings as a child."

"I can totally get this done by Christmas."

Well, I didn't get it done by Christmas. I think all I had done was the construction of my long, rectangular loom that my husband nailed together. At this time we were also installing a slate floor in our kitchen and dining room. Lololol

So, I convinced my husband to build this wooden loom, which seemed simple and like 100% was not. Eventually I rounded up some string and a few pretty, interesting yarns, as well a bundle of roving. The other item I wanted to incorporate were pheasant feathers. My dad, and sometimes my mom, are avid pheasant hunters. Since this was mostly a surprise for my mom, I had to bring my dad in on it and secure some pheasant feathers. I told them it was for some project I was working on. My mom had no clue. It helps I suppose that they lived 7 hrs away.

Now we are well past Christmas. We finished the dining room floor, I finished my bikini collection for Taylor Monroe Boutique, and one random day when I had little to do, I started winding my warp and then weaving. I went with what felt right, and it turned out much better than I expected.

It took me a couple months to finish it, not weaving every day, but doing large portions at a time. What really spurred me to finish, though, was my parent's impending visit around Mother's Day. I finished it while they were there and was able to present it to them that day. Haha. So it was a combined Christmas and Mother's Day gift, haha.

Anyway, here it is in all it's glory. Ps. I used a stylus to carry my yarn though the weave...

Making a Change

This is not a new concept at all, but I'd like to share a little inspiration or advice for making that Big Change in your life. A Big Change could be meeting new people, picking up a hobby, changing jobs, changing careers, saving for something you want, anything really. You want something to be different, but you don't always know where to start.

It's a tough place to be. I've been there. I am there. We can always be there.

So, what does it look like to make the Big Change in your life? Let's say the change is really, really big, like going to graduate school. You can't just go to graduate school tomorrow can you? No, you have to get admitted, but before that you have to apply, and before that you have to find schools to apply to, and before that you have to take a standardized test, and before that you have to study. So really, to get into grad school, you must now do the next thing you can do, which is purchase study materials. That's all, that's all you have to. When you do that, you can schedule your test. Then you study. And you just do the next thing you can do with your current level of preparation.

Let's say the change is smaller and you want to meet new people. You think to yourself, how can I possibly meet new people? I work with a small group of people, my college friends are far away, I am busy. Well, let me ask you then, is there anything in your life that you do regularly that you wouldn't actually consider a priority? Like watching TV. Or taking naps, or scrolling through social media, or taking on projects you dislike... Where is your free time, and where could it be if you prioritized your actions? Ok, so you've identified some free time (and it doesn't have to be a lot), what's that one hobby or activity you're always thinking about that you wish you did more of? Right, I knew you had one, why aren't you doing it? Stop watching TV (you won't miss it, really), now go sign up for that class (Google is an amazing tool, USE IT). So now, you've just found a group of people with whom you share an interest, talk to them about that interest, make a friend!

So, the gist of this is, since you obviously can't just do that Big Change tomorrow, you must simply take the next step in the process of that change, however small. This of course requires some thought, careful consideration, an outline maybe, and talking to your spouse, depending on how big your Big Change is. 

A personal example:

I want to buy a horse and become my horsegirl self again. Well, it's very easy to say "we don't have enough money," "what if we move," "where will it live," "someday..." BUT, let's put pen to paper and write it out, what would the steps actually be to purchase a horse?

Well,

1. I need to make sure I have enough money saved up and incoming to pay for and support the horse.

2. I need to find a place for it to live.

3. I need a vet and a farrier and someone to care for it when I'm not there.

4. I need the accoutrements to care for and enjoy the horse.

5. I need transport for the horse to bring it to it's new home.

6. I need to find the horse. 

So, I can't do all of these at once, each of these has their own separate list of to-dos, so I start with number one and start looking for extra income. Then I move on to number two and start looking at barns. (Here conveniently, I've found part time work at the barn I hope to board at). Then I move on to three and so on. So, I now have a plan in place that I am actively working on and that will keep me busy up until the point I bring the horse home, then I can start being that horsegirl again.

This strategy works for all things. Just try it on something small. It's especially helpful if you do actually write down all your steps. Then, just do that first small thing!