Optimism Month?

Yikes.

I'm a bit cynical for this. Maybe you think I am an optimist, which is ok, because most of the time I like to give the impression that I'm holding it together well. 

But that's my public self. My private self is a bit of a mess, and my husband would tell you that I complain a lot and am a pessimist. 

I actually think I'm somewhere in the middle, more of a pragmatist with an honest view of average human behavior and life's curveballs. But, yeah, on bad days, I sink into a nice little black hole and no amount of kind words, positive thoughts, tools, acts of kindness, or irritated chastising will haul me out. I simply need to be alone (like, really alone, animals ok) and do one of my preferred self-care activities - working out, walking the dog, crying in bed (depending on the severity of the day), reading, scrolling the internets, being near water and in sunshine.

I'm not ever going to be a real optimist, and I certainly won't get there simply by having more positive thoughts. But over at ManRepeller, they invited readers to share what they like about themselves in the spirit of Optimism Month, and I did and it actually felt really great.

Here's what I wrote.

"I like that I collect hobbies almost compulsively. I like that I am not afraid to try a new form of art when I feel like it. I like that I am independent. I like that I am more the quiet observer type than the loud notice me type. I like that I can cook and that I'm good at it. I like my weird button nose and my eyelashes and my teeth and my wrists. I like that I'm a better listener than talker. I like that I am sensitive to the things around me - people, animals, nature, sounds, smells - I feel very much a part of the world. I like being a contradiction and surprising people with things they don't know about me. I like where I've come from and my ancestry and how my life was growing up. I like that I like being alone most of the time. 

Sometimes it's hard to love ourselves, but it's important to give ourselves credit for the ways we succeed, and to be the supportive individual we need to be for ourselves and others around us."

What do you like about yourself?