This past Saturday, I went out to the barn to ride. When I got there, M and one of his horses were not in the barn area, but his truck was there and Opa's tack was out. So I saddled up, figuring M was lungeing Helio in the arena.
While I was doing this, a woman, S, started talking to my husband about our dog Cooper who had joined me on this nice day. She kept saying over and over what breed of dog she thought Cooper was and Joe was like, yeah we don't really know, we think this blah blah, and she was like NO HE'S DEFINITELY THIS.
Then on my way out the barn this woman says to me, "Oh how nice it is that M lets you ride Opa when he's not here."
I said, "He is here, his truck is here."
She goes, "oh, oh I guess so!"
I was like, "Yeah is he not around here?" By now I had noticed he was not in the arena and had begun to feel immense guilt for saddling up before I saw him.
She says she doesn't know. And then comes closer to me and goes "You know I really was worried when he was using the whip around Opa's legs the other day. Don't ever let him do that to you again. I thought you would come off. He really doesn't know what he's doing. I'm a [something something important person] in the local Pony Club and I would get my license revoked if I did that. It's soooo dangerous. And I won't even tell you what the other boarders have been saying about M. He doesn't know what he's doing."
I was like ok, yeah, I'll keep that in mind, thank you for saying something.
She very emphatically said all this and tried to repeat it. And then my guilt and shame about saddling up before talking to M took over and I took Opa back to his stall. I took all his tack off because I didn't want him to roll in because M had told me a story about him doing that. And then when I had done that, this woman comes up to me again, tries to retell me how dangerous it was when M was attempting to make Opa passage for me. Then she takes me over to his tack box and points out that the handle sticking out to the side was LIFE THREATENING to the horses and SO MANY boarders are concerned about it when M leaves it partly open. And then she goes on to say how terrible it is that these RACEHORSES are kept inside all the time and it's so dangerous and M doesn't know what he's doing.
I finally escape her and find M sitting in the shed barn watching Helio in the field. We go back to the main barn and I saddle up and M tells me let Opa run around for a little while and let him pop over some jumps, says he should be fine for our ride.
I'm now quite bothered by this woman's words and M's mention of Opa having a little pent up energy. I'm trying to steer my mind towards a more focused and pleasant outlook on our ride but it's hard.
Opa ended up being decently behaved for our ride, and I really shouldn't have expected much from him. My balance and leg position is horrible right now and sometimes I give him the wrong cues, so he might try to pick up the canter when I ask for a trot, and he was doing this a lot on Saturday. Or I was doing it a lot on Saturday. So it was a bit frustrating for me. On top of that, our dog Cooper decided he couldn't handle his first day off leash at the barn when I was riding. Joe had him on the leash and had his electric collar on, and M suggested he let Cooper off leash. Joe lets Cooper off and is apparently unprepared for Cooper to start running around and so he doesn't shock or buzz Cooper when Cooper runs at me and Opa. Then Cooper and M's dog Percy are playing in the arena and they go out of the arena and of course find a creek. Their absence allows me to do some cantering, still frustrating. And then the dogs are back. Somehow Cooper arrives with no collar whatsoever and is running in circles around me and Opa. Joe appears yelling at Cooper. M appears yelling at Percy. I stop Opa and start yelling at Cooper who is quite close to me now. Cooper takes off again and runs UNDER Opa! Opa remains quite chill and THANK GOD does not move one bit during all this commotion.
Eventually Cooper runs back to Joe and is put back on the leash. I resume my ride now fuming at Joe for taking the electric collar off Cooper.
Needless to say it was kind of a shit day. And I'm still bothered by it all. I'm bothered that my husband thought he could take Cooper's collar off and have him behave around another dog. I'm bothered that maybe M will be mad about this endangering situation. I'm bothered by S's words and the suggestion of gossip about M, and potentially about me. I'm bothered about my struggle to regain my riding skills. I'm bothered about what I didn't say to this woman.
I suspect this woman, S, made these comments because she feels insecure, perhaps put off because her daughter wasn't given the task of riding M's horses because she wanted to be paid and I wanted to do it for free. Another thing I find irritating is her exaggeration of the things she mentioned and the inappropriateness of it all.
1. I never felt like Opa was going to unseat me when M was trying to make him passage, I didn't feel unsafe. Was it the best idea? No, probably not. I probably won't allow it again, just like I turned down the double bridle (which I'm sure everyone is talking about).
2. This M who "doesn't know what he's doing" has had these horses for 10 years, he probably knows them pretty well. Opa is well-trained and M isn't a total dunce. In fact, he's really nice and seems like he was a pretty talented rider at some time.
3. Opa was never a racehorse, he sucked and only raced once or twice. Since then he's been a jumper and has been trained almost to Prix in dressage.
4. It's none of this damn woman's business whether M puts his horses out enough or not.
And 5. She shouldn't be addressing it with ME.
I felt like maybe I should get this off my chest. I talked to Joe about it and he agreed that S's intentions were not all good. And he learned that Cooper's e collar is water proof and to never take it off unless Cooper has demonstrated good behavior... But, here we are three days later and I still feel upset about it. Maybe I just need to get a good ride under my belt to feel better. And maybe I'll do a bad job on S's horses' stalls for the foreseeable future...
While I was doing this, a woman, S, started talking to my husband about our dog Cooper who had joined me on this nice day. She kept saying over and over what breed of dog she thought Cooper was and Joe was like, yeah we don't really know, we think this blah blah, and she was like NO HE'S DEFINITELY THIS.
Then on my way out the barn this woman says to me, "Oh how nice it is that M lets you ride Opa when he's not here."
I said, "He is here, his truck is here."
She goes, "oh, oh I guess so!"
I was like, "Yeah is he not around here?" By now I had noticed he was not in the arena and had begun to feel immense guilt for saddling up before I saw him.
She says she doesn't know. And then comes closer to me and goes "You know I really was worried when he was using the whip around Opa's legs the other day. Don't ever let him do that to you again. I thought you would come off. He really doesn't know what he's doing. I'm a [something something important person] in the local Pony Club and I would get my license revoked if I did that. It's soooo dangerous. And I won't even tell you what the other boarders have been saying about M. He doesn't know what he's doing."
I was like ok, yeah, I'll keep that in mind, thank you for saying something.
She very emphatically said all this and tried to repeat it. And then my guilt and shame about saddling up before talking to M took over and I took Opa back to his stall. I took all his tack off because I didn't want him to roll in because M had told me a story about him doing that. And then when I had done that, this woman comes up to me again, tries to retell me how dangerous it was when M was attempting to make Opa passage for me. Then she takes me over to his tack box and points out that the handle sticking out to the side was LIFE THREATENING to the horses and SO MANY boarders are concerned about it when M leaves it partly open. And then she goes on to say how terrible it is that these RACEHORSES are kept inside all the time and it's so dangerous and M doesn't know what he's doing.
I finally escape her and find M sitting in the shed barn watching Helio in the field. We go back to the main barn and I saddle up and M tells me let Opa run around for a little while and let him pop over some jumps, says he should be fine for our ride.
I'm now quite bothered by this woman's words and M's mention of Opa having a little pent up energy. I'm trying to steer my mind towards a more focused and pleasant outlook on our ride but it's hard.
Opa ended up being decently behaved for our ride, and I really shouldn't have expected much from him. My balance and leg position is horrible right now and sometimes I give him the wrong cues, so he might try to pick up the canter when I ask for a trot, and he was doing this a lot on Saturday. Or I was doing it a lot on Saturday. So it was a bit frustrating for me. On top of that, our dog Cooper decided he couldn't handle his first day off leash at the barn when I was riding. Joe had him on the leash and had his electric collar on, and M suggested he let Cooper off leash. Joe lets Cooper off and is apparently unprepared for Cooper to start running around and so he doesn't shock or buzz Cooper when Cooper runs at me and Opa. Then Cooper and M's dog Percy are playing in the arena and they go out of the arena and of course find a creek. Their absence allows me to do some cantering, still frustrating. And then the dogs are back. Somehow Cooper arrives with no collar whatsoever and is running in circles around me and Opa. Joe appears yelling at Cooper. M appears yelling at Percy. I stop Opa and start yelling at Cooper who is quite close to me now. Cooper takes off again and runs UNDER Opa! Opa remains quite chill and THANK GOD does not move one bit during all this commotion.
Eventually Cooper runs back to Joe and is put back on the leash. I resume my ride now fuming at Joe for taking the electric collar off Cooper.
Needless to say it was kind of a shit day. And I'm still bothered by it all. I'm bothered that my husband thought he could take Cooper's collar off and have him behave around another dog. I'm bothered that maybe M will be mad about this endangering situation. I'm bothered by S's words and the suggestion of gossip about M, and potentially about me. I'm bothered about my struggle to regain my riding skills. I'm bothered about what I didn't say to this woman.
I suspect this woman, S, made these comments because she feels insecure, perhaps put off because her daughter wasn't given the task of riding M's horses because she wanted to be paid and I wanted to do it for free. Another thing I find irritating is her exaggeration of the things she mentioned and the inappropriateness of it all.
1. I never felt like Opa was going to unseat me when M was trying to make him passage, I didn't feel unsafe. Was it the best idea? No, probably not. I probably won't allow it again, just like I turned down the double bridle (which I'm sure everyone is talking about).
2. This M who "doesn't know what he's doing" has had these horses for 10 years, he probably knows them pretty well. Opa is well-trained and M isn't a total dunce. In fact, he's really nice and seems like he was a pretty talented rider at some time.
3. Opa was never a racehorse, he sucked and only raced once or twice. Since then he's been a jumper and has been trained almost to Prix in dressage.
4. It's none of this damn woman's business whether M puts his horses out enough or not.
And 5. She shouldn't be addressing it with ME.
I felt like maybe I should get this off my chest. I talked to Joe about it and he agreed that S's intentions were not all good. And he learned that Cooper's e collar is water proof and to never take it off unless Cooper has demonstrated good behavior... But, here we are three days later and I still feel upset about it. Maybe I just need to get a good ride under my belt to feel better. And maybe I'll do a bad job on S's horses' stalls for the foreseeable future...
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