The Ultimate Baking Fail

The other day I thought I would try to make some delicious cookies using this recipe.

Here's how it started: Instead of chocolate chips I thought I'd use melted cocoa powder, sugar and oil. Even at a hot temperature it was still grainy. That's when I wondered if this was going to go well or not.

I knew it was not going to go well when, after placing my three eggs in the hot water to warm them up to room temperature, I cracked one open and let the yolk fall into the bowl and the white was just a teeny bit cooked. Oops. 

Then, I tried to scoop the yolk out and almost had it when it broke. I scooped out as much as I could and cracked the other two egg whites into the bowl. They both had whitish whites from the (too hot) warm water.

I said F-it! and kept going. The recipe called for peaked whipped egg whites ...

and mine never peaked.

I thought it might be ok so I kept going. Then, when I tried to substitute potato starch for corn starch I spilled about a 1/2 cup of potato starch ALL over the place.

I kept going. I think I might be dumb.

Sooo, I added all the sugar and chocolate, which is mostly what these cookies are, then I added a tablespoon of baking soda because I thought it might help with the fact that my eggs didn't fluff.

Re.tar.ded.

When I added the warm chocolate my dough (?) didn't really get any thicker like the recipe said it would.

I was supposed to plop little balls of dough into powdered sugar and bake them on a cookie sheet, but because my dough was so thin I decided to use my muffin tin and forego the extra sugar (just look at the recipe!).

Then I stuck them in the oven and started doing some dishes. It occurred to me they might overflow a bit so I checked them about halfway through the time and ... they were overflowing. And when I say overflowing, I mean the dough had bubbled up and covered the entire top of the muffin tin.

I thought they might be okay, still (why? I don't know), so I placed my cookie sheet underneath the muffin tin to catch any dripping dough. Yeah.

That didn't really work. So I took them out. After trying to catch some of the dough spilling over the edge with a spoon. In taking them out I got chocolate goo all over my oven gloves! And the stuff was sticky, like glue, chocolate glue!

I put the muffin tin on the stove and pulled out the cookie sheet. I didn't know what else to do or how to salvage them so I turned the muffin tin upside down on the cookie sheet and proceeded to scrape the goo out of the muffin cups. 

Like this:

Thankfully, the stuff in the muffin cups had cooked a bit and came out pretty cleanly. I ate some of it (no shame) and it wasn't terrible. 

I think this was God's way of telling me to eat the healthy food I had just bought a few hours ago.

Needless to say I threw it all away. The stuff glued itself to just about everything it came into contact with.

...

Note to self: When the recipe calls chocolate chips, use chocolate chips. When the recipe calls for room temperature eggs, use room temperature eggs. When the recipe calls for meringue egg whites, make your egg whites into meringue. If they do not turn into meringue, you are screwed. Don't substitute potato starch for corn starch. Don't think baking soda does the same thing as meringue (???). Eat the healthy food in your fridge.

There must have been something wrong with me that day. Misfiring synapses, a chemical imbalance. I don't know. Live and learn I guess.

Weekend Goodies

I've got a few things for ya. A weekend summary with a few souvenirs for you to take home after reading.

First of all: Joseph came to visit this weekend. Hooray! Except now he's gone. Boooo.

Secondly: I made him delicious food. The first thing I made was a Greek salad. Soooo yummy. A little heavy on the olive oil (and cheese... Joe). Here's a lovely photo and the recipe:

We watched I Love You Phillip Morris on Friday night. It had Jim Carrey and Ewan McGreggor in it. It was supposed to be a comedy. Apparently it was a true story but I didn't believe the line in the beginning that said it was a true story so I was really confused. And nowhere, NOWHERE, in the movie synopsis did it mention homosexuality, so I was completely unprepared for it. Jim Carrey plays a homosexual con artist who meets his soulmate in prison. At the end of the movie, when I realized it was a true story, I decided I probably would have found the movie extremely interesting if my expectations hadn't been completely out of whack. 

On Saturday Joe played golf with some friends early in the morning and I made taco dip, which we ate for lunch, then took to the rock quarry in La Grange. The rock quarry is awesome. The diving club in Louisville uses it and it's open to the public for $8/person. You must have a floatie at all times in the water. We went with a bunch of people from Joe's fraternity.

See that ledge up there? You had to jump off that to get in the water. And to get out you had to climb a rope up the rock face. It. Was. Awesome.

Our friend Mario took out the taco dip and started eating it, then everyone swarmed him. He kept saying "Becky made it." And people kept asking, "Whose Becky?" And he'd reply, "The prettiest girl here." Hahaha. Well, apparently the taco dip was "the most amazing thing I've ever put in my mouth," according to one Pike member. People shook my hand and hugged me it was so good. People were hovering over it and basically scraped the dish clean it was so good.

Here's the recipe.

The hot sauce I used is the same stuff I used in my Easy Chicken Fajitas recipe. Mmm! It's sooo spicy! And here's a pic of the good stuff:

I took pictures of the process of making this, but it was hoovered down so fast I didn't get a pic of what it  actually looks like on a plate or with chips.

So after the rock quarry, Joe and I met up with Marge and Kyle for dinner at Amici. Yum! I had a white wine sangria made with pears and apples. Yum! And a chef's salad with chicken, prosciutto, cheese, peppers, spinach, blue cheese dressing. Yum! I also had a chilled, spicy watermelon soup. Meh. The spiciness and nutmeg (why?) mixed awkwardly with the creamy coolness of the watermelon. Also, they made me try mussels with a pesto sauce. Pesto yum! Mussels ick!

After dinner we watched Love and Other Drugs. Kyle and Marge said it wasn't so good. I thought the story idea was pretty good, but the ending was terrible and cheesy. It stars Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway, neither of which I'm a great fan of, although Jake is nice to look at. I thought their performances were good, except for the end. It was almost like the writer got tired and tossed it in. Oh well. At least our expectations were really low and were exceeded slightly.

Sunday started off poorly with a large group of people shouting and talking too loudly outside my apartment at SIX IN THE MORNING! Wtf? I know they weren't just like, up and awake and going about their day. They were finishing their night. Probably accompanied by alcohol. I get insanely irritated about the people who do this on a regular basis. Like seething, cursing mad, to myself and Joe. But, honestly, why would you stay out that late? I truly don't understand. I can't wait to move someplace quieter and with thicker walls and a bigger kitchen.

Then I made gluten free blueberry pancakes. Ohhhh yum! I neglected to take pictures but this recipe is so easy and tasty you'll pee yourself.

So after we ate pancakes we went to the mall to do some research on a company I have a phone interview with on Monday. The job is in Columbus. And I would REALLY love to have it. Really. I think I'm well qualified. It would be a great first job and probably would prepare me for and get me closer to doing what I want to do than many other jobs. And, it's in an industry I already have a great interest in.

Then Joe left. And I got sad.

...

You think I'm done? Ha. Nope. Gotta tell you about last week too. Duh.

I went to the shin doctor. I have had pain in my shins for a long time. I finally decided to stop running when a friend of Joe's told me that his shin shattered because he didn't stop running on his shin splints which had turned into stress fractures. I did some research and learned that concentrated pain in a specific area on your shin bone is characteristic of a stress fracture. So, I talked to the doctor, he pushed on my shin until he hit a spot that was extremely painful and then said, "let's get x-rays, because that's normal for stress fractures." So I got three x-rays of each shin and we looked at them. On my right shin, the one he pressed on and that hurt the most, there was a large bump and a fuzzy area. He said the large bump was an old, healed stress fracture, probably from high school. The fuzzy area on top of it was a healing stress fracture. Cool. The left shin had a very small fuzzy area, a healing stress fracture as well. So now I cannot run or do anything painful for two months at least. I need to buy more cushiony shoes to lessen the impact when I run. He also told me to increase my intake of calcium and D3. You know, I never stopped running in high school. I ran on stress fractures. Wtf. I ran a 6:45 mile on shin splints/stress fractures. Was I retarded? My shins hurt sooooo bad during track in high school freshman year. Know what we did to help them? Taped my ankles and feet. Hahahaha. I'm getting old. I want to be a lifelong exerciser, runner, biker, horseback rider, whatever. I don't want to do it in pain anymore. My shins currently randomly hurt. Apparently growing calluses on your bones is painful. I ice them

End of that story. Next!

I found a chair. By a dumpster. It was manly so I put it in my truck to fix up for Joe whenever he gets his house. I worked on it for three days straight. It's looking dope. Please stay tuned for a post or two or three about the process of refinishing and reupholstering a leather Barcalounger. (I am really good at upholstery! Lol. No, really.)

Also, I had a job interview at a company in Louisville. It won't be a great fit for me. But it's still a potential backup.

Ummm. That's all I think. You can go now. And make delicious food. As long as you mention where the recipe came from :)

Oh wait! I also saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. OMG it was so awesome. I need to reread all the books. Ahhhh!

Healthy Ice Cream!

Okay, it's not really ice cream, but it tastes just as good! This quick recipe makes about 3/4 cup of "ice cream" and is only 170 calories.

What you need:

~ One frozen banana (peel before freezing!)

~ 1-2 tablespoons of cocoa powder

~ About 1/2 cup of skim milk, depending on your blender and your preferences for consistency

~ Some kind of sweetener - real sugar, honey ... I used Stevia which is 0 calories

What you do:

~ Blend it all together till the chunks are gone

~ EAT and ENJOY!

Quiche Muffins

Occasionally I like to make quiches. This is the only form of egg I will eat. Mostly because I can't taste the egg. Blech.

I like to play with ingredients in my quiches, however, two absolute staples are spinach and cheese.

I also like to add bell peppers, zucchini, potatoes, green beans. I make mostly vegetarian quiches, lots of protein in the eggs already, but I've seen many recipes that call for sausage, bacon; I'm sure you could also use pepperoni, chicken, whatever.

So, I got a craving for quiche. I don't know where it came from but it was there and I couldn't stop it. I thought I would just make a small batch of quiche muffins, because I got a new muffin tin and had only three eggs. Well that's not what happened. I filled the whole dang muffin tin.

I did have to run to the store halfway through and pick up more eggs. Good thing the store is 5 minutes away. But, anywho, these little quiches turned out very nicely. Here's the recipe: 

And, here are some photos of the process:

Cook yo chickpeas.

Chop yo green beans and spinach.

Grease and bread crumb yo shiny new muffin tin that smelled wonderful.

Mix yo eggs, milk and spices.

Mash yo chickpeas.

Fill yo muffin tin with yo stuff.

Watch yo quiche muffins cookin, admire the parmesan crisping on top.

Beam at yo done quiche muffins.

Eat yo quiche muffin.

Wasn't that fun? Do you like the little recipe widget? I do. If you find any glitches, let me know! 

I thought the chickpeas added a great flavor (to mask the egg, duh!), but what other things do you like in your quiches?

Fourth of July and Other Stuff

Where to begin? Hmm. I left for Joe's on Thursday. After I picked up Vince's dog, Buehrle, named after Mark Buehrle of the White Sox, Vince's favorite team because he's from Chicago. Buehrle is quite possibly the cutest dog ever, and I got to dog-sit while in Troy. 

Vince got reallllllly lucky with Buehrle. He picked him up from a guy who placed an ad on Craigslist, free, a mutt of some kind between Border Collie, Austrailian Shepherd and Black Lab. He's incredibly smart, but so energetic it sometimes trumps his smartness. Even when he was a teeny tiny puppy he would not go poop or pee inside, he waits till he's taken outside. He comes when called, even while chasing squirrels, and very rarely leaves the yard.

Anywho... I drove Buehrle to Troy so I could dog-sit. And we played in the yard A LOT. This dog does not tire. He'll get tired and go lay down in the grass. But 5 minutes later, he's up and dropping the ball on your feet. It was fun; it gave me something to do while Joe was working on Friday.

We also cleaned our vehicles this weekend. Joe cleaned his headlights, because we nearly died on the backroads in W. Virginia. We both vacuumed, wiped down, washed and waxed our cars. 

Turns out my truck looks pretty good, except for the dent with chipped paint that is rusting from some jerk in a parking lot.

(sorry for the white-legs-pic, Joe)

Then we played with Buehrle more. Joe climbed a tree. And I took Benadryl because apparently I am allergic to the stuff I was vacuuming out of my truck. 

On Sunday we went canoeing. Joe bought a Groupon for a canoe place near his house and we went 10 miles. The first 5-ish were not so cool because there were so many people on the river. After that, the wimps and the drunks were far behind.

The river is named the Stillwater River.... for obvious reasons. The water barely moves.

Wildlife.

Weed.

Just kidding. Sorta looks like it though, huh?

 

It took about 4 hours to canoe ten miles. Not too bad. I wasn't very sore either, which was good. We did encounter two rock dams that required skillful maneuvering by Joe. He's an expert canoe-er and is a certified watershed manager. In case you need one. 

We also at some point during the weekend had a campfire. We saw Super 8, which wasn't that great in my opinion. It had some terribly lame scenes and reminded me of Cloverfield, which I hated. We went to the Troy farmer's market and got some blueberries and cheese, and the meat shop for deli meat and cheese. Troy is totally turning into a hippie town. Joe loves it.

On Monday, America's sweet day of independence, we went to the outlet mall because almost everything was half off. We nearly stole clothes again from Banana Republic and J.Crew. That's the way to shop, I'm telling you. Sign up for email coupons and go to outlet malls. I got a pair of $98 black dress pants from Banana Republic for $7.50. And a J.Crew sweater for $15. Joe also got some amazing steals, though not as good as the time before (#22).

We also toured Ikea for like 2 hours and looked at furniture. Joe bought me a salad spinner. I'm not totally sure why, but it's cool and he's nice. Ikea is crazy yall. Crazy.

Monday evening we went down to the levee and watched Troy's fireworks. Not too bad for a little town. It was nice; we hung out with Joe's friend Ben and his family.

Tuesday morning I drove home, Buehrle sleeping in the passenger seat with his head on the console. I had to give him back to Vince which was sad. I want a dog even more now, as does Joe. Now is not the right time though. 

I'm trying really hard to find a job. It's painfully difficult. I know I am qualified for the positions I apply for, but it's incredibly discouraging to never hear back or have to deal with the corporate automated system. I know God has something planned for me but I would really love to know what it is. Before I'm homeless or poor or too far away to do anything.

...

*If you haven't signed up for Groupon for your city, you need to get on that, because some really cool stuff comes through. Also, if you like camping/hiking/outdoors stuff, check out the Clymb too. They have huge discounts on gear.