Sheltered

Yesterday, I realized how small, restricted and sheltered my entire horse experience has been.

I have never ridden a horse through trails or a field that has not been part of a guided ride.

I have never galloped on a horse.

I've never jumped.

I've competed on two horses.

I have never had to deal with proud flesh, horses that don't cross tie, colic, thrush, or hot horses.

The majority of my riding was spent in a ring.

I have only ever fallen off once. I'm afraid to fall off.

Yesterday, despite having about ten years of consistent riding beneath me, I felt less coordinated and secure in the saddle than I ever have been, and I had to admit (out loud and to myself) to not ever doing several things which seemed ridiculous for someone who started riding at age 9.

I have been paired with a horse at Second Stride named Lucky Albert. He's great, really. At 3 years old, he cross ties, carries a bit and rider without a fuss, he's well-behaved and not mouthy.

And me? I can't get my legs to work with my hands to work with my brain. And I get nervous riding through big fields, afraid to trot, unsure of myself.

I am hoping and praying that being paired with Albert, and going once or twice a week to ride will greatly improve my seat and my confidence. And I want Albert to be a great horse for whoever adopts him.

***

Give me a field, a stream, a tree, a horse, a place to create, to get dirty, a place to move and dream out loud, until then I cannot breathe.